


Helter Skelter

by Zetran



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-26 06:42:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1678535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zetran/pseuds/Zetran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth has left Shinra, and the entire army is in a state of chaos. Cloud goes about his days like normal, but now ponders over why he is still trying out for SOLDIER. Little did he know that a single trip into the slums would turn his life upside down and twist it all around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 腐ったピザの下で

Another sleepless night. They came every once in a while, and the exhaustion from the next day's training sessions would double nearly every time. The only upside, which wasn't much of an upside, really, was that these nights allowed Cloud to have the chance to remember what he was here for, why he had decided to join SOLDIER. Of course, the answer was simple, but now, with last week's explosion of confusion, that answer wasn't satisfactory anymore, nor was it easy for Cloud to find another one.

His reason for going through the trouble of getting to Midgar from his hometown was, at first, because of General Sephiroth. An overdone and overused reason; everybody traveled from far and wide, or, in the case of those who already lived here, locally because of the legendary man, but then again, who wouldn't? Sephiroth had been the one who had led Shinra to victory in the long and hellish war against Wutai, which had ended shortly after Cloud began his training as an infantryman. While Cloud had never stepped foot in Wutai, the rumors of the war told enough of the experience, assuming they were true: food often spoiling in the humid, tropical-like weather of the area, Wutai militias constantly on the move to harass and bring down the main Shinra army little by little, the bombs bursting, families – _children_ , even – losing their lives in the struggle... Even with Wutai's defeat and surrender, a new and unofficial war had moved to Midgar, where spies were constantly being found and pursued. Third Class SOLDIERs or those with higher rankings were usually the ones to bring a spy in, but it wasn't uncommon for grunts to be sent out instead.

Cloud rolled onto his side for the hundredth time that night, trying to get to sleep before his thoughts turned to that day, not very long ago. His efforts were in vain.

It felt like an eternity ago, though only six days had passed. Six days, and everybody was still asking the same questions: Why? How? Have we been betrayed? Cloud himself was vacillating between the more simple yes or no question of betrayal, and he couldn't bring himself to even consider that yes, Sephiroth had betrayed Shinra, betrayed all of those who looked up to him. Nobody had even an iota of an idea as to why or how; no theories had been made as to why Sephiroth could have deserted Shinra, and desertion was definitely what had happened. Sephiroth was too great a man to be captured, and too clever to actually get lost. There was no other reason for his disappearance – he had to have deserted, and it was only forever ago, _six days ago_ , that it had been confirmed. Even now, Cloud and many others refused to believe it had actually happened, but Cloud's refusal to accept the facts had been waning as the news spread through the whole planet, and he started questioning himself over why he was still in the SOLDIER program, now that his idol was gone. He had found some time to write to his mother who was always eager to learn about how he was doing, stating that he wasn't going to give up because of his promise to Tifa, but that was only a half-truth, and he had the vague feeling that he was only trying to convince himself that that was the only thing keeping him from giving up other than his lack of a way to get back home unless he were to fail the entrance exams.

Tifa. Cloud wrapped the thin blanket tighter around himself. He'd wanted her attention, had wanted to be her friend for as long as he could remember, but Tifa didn't seem to know that he even existed. He remembered the cold night atop the well, just a short time before he left for Midgar, when he announced to her, _promised_ her that he was going to be a SOLDIER and made the additional promise to save her if she was ever in a pinch after she requested him to do so. He was surprised that she even read the note he had left, and was even more surprised when she had climbed up the well in that bright blue dress to sit with him, her matching heels in one hand. She had even took the time to be there to see him off. Cloud didn't want to break a promise like that, but that reason only told him why he _had_ to stay, but it wasn't a reason that motivated him a whole lot. His mother had passed his contact information on to Tifa, but so far, Cloud hadn't received a single letter from her.

His musings were slowed down by the heaviness of his eyelids, and soon stopped his brooding to catch a little bit of sleep. His eyes had only just closed when his drill instructor burst in.

"You ladies have had enough beauty sleep!" Instructor Moors loudly bellowed, scaring some of the cadets into falling out of bed. "Get your wimpy asses out to the mess hall!"

Cloud groaned. His bed wasn't comfortable enough to lull him to sleep earlier, and now it just so happened to be comfortable enough to make him never want to leave it.

* * *

Cloud tugged at the back of the shirt of his cadet uniform, allowing air to cool his sweat-slicked back. The instructors pushed all the cadets a little harder than usual, and the sun decided to contribute to helping beat the crap out of Cloud and the rest of the cadets. Cloud thanked any and all gods out there for the air conditioning in the barracks, even if the insanely low temperature nearly froze him sometimes.

"Davis! Strife!"

Cloud stopped in his tracks, his back ramrod straight, and saluted. Cadet Davis followed suit.

"Hit the showers and report to the train station. You'll be accompanying SOLDIER operatives on patrol duty."

Cloud and Cadet Davis were getting out of drills early, but patrol duty in the slums was no walk in the park. Every so often, an infantryman or two was called out on patrol duty to gain more experience. It was the infantry's job to enforce the law above the plate and break up minor riots in the slums, and it was a SOLDIER's job to take on the more dangerous missions, often outside of Midgar, and they handled most conflicts that brewed in the slums. Moors must have had quite a bit of faith to send out two cadets to the slums. It was better to be safe than sorry, which was why nobody from the Plate went to the slums alone, but for a _cadet_ to accompany an actual SOLDIER seemed a little redundant to Cloud, but he supposed that it wouldn't hurt to have some experience in the underworld. If he made it into SOLDIER, he'd definitely have to go down there sometime.

A Third Class and a Second Class SOLDIER were waiting for Cloud and Davis when they arrived. Before anybody boarded the train, the Second Class instructed, "Stay together. If anybody gets separated, send out a message from your PHS." PHS numbers were exchanged, then the train was boarded.

The first thing Cloud noticed upon exiting the train was the stench. Sewage and other disgusting fumes emanated from all over and, coupled with the darkness only broken by blinding beams of artificial light and rare pockets of actual sunlight streaming from the gaps in the plate above, gave Cloud a sense of decay, as if he were slowly but surely dying inside. He found it harder and harder to breathe as the seconds ticked by, and his intense study of his surroundings as the patrol began didn't help ease his nerves or his rising sympathy towards the civilians. As far as he could see, nobody was entirely clean, and most people looked pale, gaunt, and thin enough to be mistaken for slightly emaciated. The shops and houses were made entirely of scrap metal or other raw materials that were dangerously weak, like cardboard. The adults seemed grim and weighed down by many troubles, unlike the few children Cloud caught a glance of. The kids ran in small groups, shouts of joy ringing out and smiles on their faces – a miraculous feat, in Cloud's eyes. Then again, being able to live past a single day in this place was a miracle itself, and most of the inhabitants must have lived their whole lives here. Cloud bitterly realized that the safety, comforts, and luxuries of the Plate came at the price of the misery, poor living conditions, and lack of law enforcement and order of the slums. If it weren't for the Third Class SOLDIER keeping an eye on him and Cadet Davis every few minutes, Cloud would have had empty pockets.

The atmosphere became more cheerful once the group trudged into the Sector Six slums, where a multitude of shops and crowds made any space to move easily nonexistent. Cloud was more at ease by the way nobody seemed to pay much attention to him and the others. He was afraid, though he didn't like to admit it even to himself, of what the various murderous glares they received could escalate into.

The clamoring swarm of people pushed and shoved each other, and Cloud was knocked down and nearly trampled. Not bothering to express his anger at the moment, Cloud quickly got to his feet with some difficulty, and pushed through the crowd to find a less occupied space to pull out his PHS.

"May I borrow that?"

Cloud held up his machine gun, a standard-issue model all cadets were required to learn how to use, and pointed it at the... man? Woman? He couldn't really tell; the person next to him wore an assortment of cloth and leather along with a trench coat and had the creepiest mask he had ever seen. The mask had the widest and most disturbing grin, and the eye holes were completely black.

The person held its hands up in surrender. "I mean no harm. All I'm asking is to borrow your phone. I don't have one, and I have to make an important call."

Cloud didn't believe the masked figure and backed away.

"What harm is there in letting somebody borrow something so simple? If you're afraid that I'm going to take it, do remember that you have a weapon." The person shook its head, shoulder-length black hair swaying with the movement. He or she put their hands down. "Paranoia seems to take the sensibility out of everybody these days."

Paranoia? Hell no, he wasn't paranoid! It was simple common sense: don't talk to strangers, especially those that could potentially give somebody nightmares.

"It will only take a second or two. Trust me."

Cloud's resolve was slowly breaking down, and he tentatively handed his PHS over, keeping the rest of his body away from the person.

"Thank you," the person said with a short incline of his/her head. The figure dialed a number and waited a moment. "Ea, be a dear and remind Geles to ready the tea. Don't forget to preheat the oven for dinner. The guests are almost arriving." The person had to raise her voice – Cloud was positive that it was a female – to be heard over the noise. She hung up and returned the PHS. "Thank you again." Without another word, she turned and left a disconcerted Cloud.

Cloud dialed the number of SOLDIER Second Class Johnson, quickly telling him where he was. Soon enough, he was reunited with the group. The rest of the patrol was finished with no problem, and Garrison, the Third Class SOLDIER, announced that one more run through had to be done before they could consider the small mission complete. Cloud obediently trailed along, still disgusted by the state of the city under a city, and all went well.

Around Sector Four, Cloud was viciously thrown back several feet, and a sharp pain spread from the side of his head to everywhere above his neck. Feeling something trickle down the side of his face, Cloud put a hand to one of his ears, both of which were ringing, and felt something wet above his right ear.

Blood. Somebody had hit him very hard, and he was bleeding. He heard yells of alarm and a massive explosion, no doubt rendering him deaf, and caught a fleeting glimpse of fire before everything turned dark.

* * *

Notes:

Idea conceived: 2013年5月25日（土）

Started: 2013年5月26日（日）

Finished: That same day

I got this idea after watching part of _The Dark Knight_ yesterday. Normally I'm not very interested in Batman, but I had seen some screenshots of the Joker floating around on the internet and after watching a little bit of the movie, I can say for sure that I friggin' _love_ that guy! He's just so nonchalant and acts like what he's doing is totally normal. Now I gotta borrow that movie from a friend. owo

This is the only time I'm breaking out of my temporary hiatus (I only posted the news in one place; I'll go ahead and move it to the profile page), but if I get another story idea, you bet I'll write it down. Also, if anybody's interested, I have another Sephiroth/Cloud idea ready (gender-bending Sephy included), but I have no idea on how to start it. Maybe the break time will let my brain come up with a beginning. I swear that the first and second chapters are the hardest to write.

Ea, Geles, and the stranger aren't OCs. If you can guess who the stranger is, I'll leave you a little present. ;)


	2. 殺人

His head pounded as he dizzily regained consciousness. He stretched, then flailed when his arms didn't move very far.

Cracking an eye open and waiting for his blurry vision to focus, Cloud paled in horror.

It was completely dark, save for a blinding light illuminating one spot. There, Garrison made gurgling noises, blood seeping from his mouth and from around the three butterfly knives protruding from his throat. A figure approached the dying man and struck the side of his head with a crowbar. Cloud tensed when he heard a snap and Garrison no longer moved. The Third Class SOLDIER's body was taken off the metal table it had laid on and was tossed aside like rotten vegetables.

Cloud's eyes widened when he saw Cadet Davis lifted onto the bloody table next. However, the figure handcuffed his arms, leaving him there, and moved into the darkness, rummaging through something and making scraping noises.

Another light turned on, this time revealing Johnson bound to the wall with rope. His head was hanging very low, and his arms and legs appeared to be stretched so far upwards/downwards that it looked painful. The Second Class SOLDIER wasn't moving, and Cloud couldn't tell if he was breathing or not.

Johnson's breathing didn't matter. In a matter of eternity-long seconds, he was dead.

Cloud hastily shut his eyes as a chainsaw connected with Johnson's body. He tried to think of something – anything – to distract himself from the sickening noises of the motor, of the blade cutting into flesh, of the blood spattering everywhere, and the cracks of bones being cut and broken. The ringing in his ears (in the back of Cloud's mind he was amazed; he'd been sure that he had gone deaf earlier) signaled to him that it was over, but Cloud kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see what was next.

He didn't want to see Davis die. He didn't want to see himself die.

"It's a shame you had to see your comrades and their mess," he heard.

That voice. It was familiar, but he couldn't place it.

Cloud heard a sharp gasp. It must have been Davis. Curiosity tempted him to open his eyes, but fear kept them shut tight.

"A real shame. SOLDIERs are more trouble than they're worth to keep. They're no help to us, always causing damage. But what is your choice, hmm?"

He heard Davis's short, scared breaths for a long minute. Then, "I refuse to join you." Cloud opened his eyes and saw Davis staring courageously up at the figure. His squad mate had a look on his face that said that he had accepted his fate.

"Is that so?" the figure asked, brandishing a sledgehammer. Davis took a deep breath, then nodded.

"Then so be it." The figure wasted no time in crushing the trapped boy's feet, dropping the hammer before dragging a survival knife across the screaming cadet's neck as slow as possible to prolong his suffering. Davis thrashed against his restraints, trying to get away from the blade only for the figure to cut deeper into his throat and slash it open.

A choked gurgle later, and Davis was gone. Cloud stared, wide-eyed, as the handcuffs were unlocked and Davis was shoved aside carelessly. He continued to stare even as the figure turned.

It was her. That same mask was dripping with blood, that same grin burning itself into Cloud's memory in a different way.

"Your comrades are very messy," the woman sighed. "Look at all this." She waved an arm to gesture to the limp bodies and to the pile of shredded entrails under Johnson before shaking her head and undoing Cloud's bonds. Cloud thrashed as hard and as desperately as he could, adrenaline coursing through him. The woman stumbled a bit, but summoned enough strength to slam Cloud onto the table hard enough to make his head rattle and his ears hurt more from the echoing sound of the table. He wildly kicked out at the figure as his hands were pinned down. Once the handcuffs were in place, Cloud kicked with more vigor.

The figure punched him on the jaw, making his head snap back. Cloud grit his teeth and looked to the side, away from the intense light threatening to blind him.

"And your choice is...?" the woman asked casually.

"...I'd rather die," Cloud said after a long moment of hesitating. "You killed them... Y-you set that bomb."

Cloud vaguely saw the woman bending over to plug something in. He inwardly gasped when he saw a buzz saw in the woman's hands.

"Incorrect. I am not the one that uses explosives. But good inference." The buzz saw was turned on and it inched closer and closer to Cloud's face. He shut his eyes again.

At least he would die with honor. It was better to die than help a terrorist, wasn't it?

But he'd never live to see another day. He'd never experience all that life had to offer. He'd never fulfill his dream.

He'd never see his family or friends ever again.

"I'll do it!" Cloud shouted without thinking. The saw stopped right in front of his face, nearly grazing him, but it still made its deafening racket.

"Do what?" Cloud had to strain to hear the question.

"I'll join you!" he yelled as loud as he could.

"My apologies, I'm a little hard of hearing. What was that?" the woman goaded after turning the saw off.

"I'll join you," Cloud repeated weakly, ashamed.

The woman said nothing, placing the saw down on the floor where she stood. She pulled out a blindfold, completely obscured Cloud's vision, undid the cuffs, and forcibly held Cloud's arms behind his back before pushing on him, leading him somewhere.

Cloud panicked when he felt his clothes getting torn off, and he grunted when he hit the floor. After hearing a door close, he assumed it safe enough to take off the blindfold.

All he had on were his boxers. Nearly everything in his body hurt – his head, his ears, his wrists, and his right arm and shoulder from where he landed on them. The adrenaline was gone by then, too, and the shock of what he had witnessed finally set in.

Cloud keeled over onto his hands and knees and vomited, not stopping until he dry heaved a few times. Tears escaped from him, but he didn't notice, instead hugging his knees tightly while the nightmare replayed itself in his head.

He hadn't wanted to die. He had sacrificed doing the right thing for being selfish.

For being a coward.

* * *

Notes:

Started: 2013年9月3日（火）

Finished: 2013年9月4日（水）

The long overdue update is here! Yay! I don't recommend reading before/while/after eating, though.

A little late for that. Oops.


	3. 始めまして

Cloud still sat with his knees drawn up to his face and his heels pressing against him. He continued to sniff, the events that occurred so long ago yet so recently replaying in his mind like a cassette tape that kept rewinding itself. His eyes felt heavy, his weary body shivered from the chill, and his bottom ached from where it pressed against the floor.

He didn't know how much time had passed. It felt like years, but he was sure that that was too much of an exaggeration. Fear kept him awake; he sometimes heard echoing footsteps or bumps from nearby and didn't want to give anybody the chance to catch him unaware.

But what could he do if somebody _did_ come? His clothes were taken away. Nothing was in them other than his military I.D (he never bothered taking pocket money around anywhere) and his helmet and weapon were gone by the time he had regained consciousness.

Depressed, Cloud dug his chin onto his knees, wrapping them closer to himself as he felt goosebumps break out. He jumped and curled into himself when he heard the heavy door slide open with a screech.

Something was thrown at him, but Cloud didn't look up until the door was closed again. He picked up what appeared to be a one-piece uniform colored a very dark brown. Upon further inspection, he discovered large pants and breast pockets along with assorted leather belts, possibly used to tie something like a sword or a rifle to his person.

Disgusted, Cloud threw the uniform at the wall and dug his forehead into his knees, more miserable than ever.

It was his fault. He joined them because he was a coward, because he wasn't strong enough to even try to fend them off.

The screeching door brought him out of his thoughts before he could continue to wallow in his misery. He was yanked upwards by his hair, his feet hovering a few inches off of the ground and kicking wildly. Cloud held onto the hand, not really intending to dislodge it but to stop the searing pain on his scalp.

The uniform was picked up and shoved on top of him and his attacker shoved Cloud down to the floor. The blond cried out as his head nearly cracked against the metal floor but the cry was cut short as the uniform was pressed against his face, leaving no air to breathe.

Cloud thrashed with more vigor, quickly getting weaker and weaker as his lungs burned and his vision went faint.

* * *

His head throbbed painfully, and the blinding light pierced through his head, making the aches worse. Cloud sat up, squinting and holding up a hand to block the light. His eyes widened when he saw a black glove and looked down to find that the rest of the uniform had been put on him as well. He took a quick look around his surroundings and stared.

The door was open. Cloud stayed still and reigned in the instinct that told him to run out and look for a way to escape. The door couldn't be open without a reason. He waited.

Silence. Nothing passed by nor did he hear any far-away noises. Tentatively, Cloud peeked out of the door.

A passageway with doors a certain distance from each other greeted him. To the left was an area blocked by a chain-linked fence stretching upwards to the ceiling; to the right, the passageway stretched onwards to who-knew-where.

Cloud cautiously approached the fence and tried to see past it. He couldn't make out much due to the lack of lighting in that area, but he had a feeling that he might have come from there. The chain on the fence was unlocked and trails of blood, now brown, painted the floor, mostly obscured by the darkness. He shuddered again as the memories quickly flew by him and he turned away.

Tense, he slowly made his way to the other end of the passageway, eventually reaching a thick sheet of cloth. Cloud hesitated, holding his breath, then reached forward to pull the sheet to the side.

Nothing. Cloud let out all the air with a near inaudible whoosh. Adrenaline still coursing through him, he investigated.

The sheet reveal a ladder with its rungs built into the wall. Looking up, Cloud could vaguely make out a trap door. He quickly weighed the pros and cons of going beyond the tiny door. He only had the room he came out in to go to; either that or he could try the other doors in the passageway. Beyond the chain-link fence was out. He was sure that there was nothing good there.

He didn't have long to wait before somebody else chose for him.

The trap door opened and a thin body jumped down, landing on both feet right in front of Cloud. The petrified blond snapped out of it and turned the other way, but the figure pulled him by the collar and pinned his arms to his body. Despite Cloud's struggling, the figure managed to climb up the ladder with the blond, albeit with difficulty.

"Look," the figure said, shoving Cloud onto another metal floor. "Hel left a survivor."

Cloud lifted himself up before a foot roughly stepped on his back and cause his face to hit the floor. He nose exploded with pain, possibly broken.

Somebody else whistled, amazed. A hand cupped his chin and forced Cloud to look up at a face covered by another mask, this one plain white with what appeared to be painted tears leading to a smiling mouth.

"Let me out..." Cloud said weakly, feeling blood trickle down his lips and chin. "Please..."

The figure that had thrown him snickered. "Helvete let you survive, and the first thing you do is cry and beg for mercy? What the hell was that lady on?"

"Please," Cloud repeated. "I won't tell anybody, I swear." He hoped that they didn't catch his lie.

"Aww, he wants to leave," the white-masked one said. "He doesn't know that he's stuck here with us."

"Just let me go!" Cloud yelled. He doubled over in pain when a foot connected harshly with his stomach.

"Shut it, kid," the other one said. "You joined us, and you're never going to leave."

"Welcome to the club, newbie," the white masked one said, mocking Cloud. He pulled the blond to his feet and pushed him towards the figure who wore a metal helmet that completely covered the top part of his face and head. "You take him."

Metal Head pushed Cloud back to White Face. "I'm not taking him."

"It's your turn." Cloud helplessly flew towards Metal Head.

"I'm not taking him, Grohl," Metal Head insisted. "You do it. Or give him to Ea."

Grohl... That name was unfamiliar, but the other one made Cloud pale. He didn't even try to stop Metal Head when he shoved Cloud back to Grohl.

"You cruel little bastard," Grohl said in a playful tone. However, he didn't push Cloud back. Instead, he grabbed the blond by the arm and dragged him somewhere else. Cloud didn't even have the time to study his surroundings before he was shoved again, this time into the lap of yet another person.

Cloud looked up, and a puff of smoke hit his eyes and nose, making him cough while his eyes watered. He was pushed off of the stranger's lap, and Cloud got into a sitting position, still trying to get the smoke out of his system.

"Who is this?" the stranger asked calmly, making the question sounding more like a declarative sentence. He flicked the ashes off of his cigarette and onto Cloud. The blond turned away from the hooded figure to avoid getting anything else into his eyes. For some reason, the figure was wearing a blindfold along with the hood. How he could see was beyond Cloud.

"Hel let him go," Grohl said simply.

Cloud could feel eyes roaming over him; the figure – Ea, he assumed was his name – probably looking him over to size him up in however way he was able to do it.

"I see," was all Ea said, taking another drag on the cigarette. "New recruit."

"It's Geles's fault," Grohl said before finally turning and leaving.

"Tell him that I don't mind...this time," Ea called to Grohl's retreating back. His attention went back to Cloud. "What's your specialty, kid?"

Cloud didn't answer, confused with the question.

"You a bomber? Hacker?"

Cloud shook his head, not wanting to give out any information on himself. He had to get out of here. He had to.

"Hm." Ea brought the cigarette to his lips for another drag, releasing the smoke into the air. He threw the butt at Cloud, burning the flailing blond's arm. "Guess we'll have to find out what you're good at."

* * *

Notes:

Started: 2013年10月9日（水）

Finished: 2013年10月10日（木）

Wow... I thought that this chapter was going to take forever to come out. There was only less than a sentence written yesterday and the rest was done today. O_o I'm not going to complain. XD I guess it's because of what's eventually going to happen in this story that I'm excited.

Well, that's almost all of the Not-OCs introduced. There are two more... Well, technically one, but that won't be until another while.


	4. 小さなヒーロー

He really did not know why or how he had gotten himself into this. It was only a simple patrol, a simple little assignment which really could not have been messed up so badly.

But no. Somewhere out there, there must have been a higher being laughing at and enjoying Cloud's fear, misery, and desperate wishes to be able to return to the barracks.

He tightly clenched the metal box Ea had sent him out with in his hands. The contents shifted with every movement Cloud made, sometimes sliding and bumping the edges of the interior. He did not know what was inside, and the lock was built into the box so he wouldn't be able to break it without great difficulty, and Ea had been very explicit in telling him that the package had to arrive to the sender in the exact condition Cloud had first received it.

The blond stumbled as he was roughly pushed to the side and onto the splintered wall of a shop. He got himself back to his feet, paused to properly reorient himself, and looked at the map Ea had given him again.

He was almost there. He turned into Wall Market, instantly swamped by the hordes of people. He struggled to shove his way through the crowd, getting knocked back countless times in the process, and finally entered the restaurant what felt like ages later.

Several pairs of eyes looked his way as he awkwardly stood there for a good two minutes before snapping out of it and taking the only free seat. He didn't speak or move, didn't say anything even when a waiter asked what he wanted to order. A strange, disapproving look was cast on him as a result, but he continued to sit there, staring at the box on his lap.

Those who were already in there soon went back to eating, chatting, and whatever else they had been doing before. Cloud continued to wait there, as Ea had instructed.

He didn't want to test the man just yet. He had to wait for the right moment.

"Your parents aren't supposed to be letting you out at this time of day," a guttural voice suddenly said to him.

"They're sick," Cloud recited nervously. "I need to get some medicine for them."

A tsk. "Poor thing." The man dug into his pocket and handed Cloud what looked like a crumpled ticket. "This should help."

The blond didn't take it. He waited there stiffly, not reacting even when the box was taken from him. He still didn't take the paper the man held, and he held his breath when the man sighed in aggravation and pried the blond's hand open to stuff the ticket inside.

"Go," he was commanded. "The faster you get home with the meds, the better."

Cloud slid off his stool, looking at what he held in his hand.

A pharmacy coupon. He clenched it into a fist, took a breath, and left, quickly checking his map before finding the pharmacy. He entered, seeing a boy lazily leaning back on a large pillow behind the front counter.

"Yeah? What'chu need?" The boy stood up and leaned on the counter, holding up his head with one hand.

Wordlessly, he handed over the coupon. The boy gave it a quick glance before reaching under the counter. He pulled out a black pouch and gave it to Cloud.

"The faster this gets back, the better," he said. "Oh, and keep it safe, too."

Not knowing how to respond, he only nodded, placed the pouch in his pocket, and left, taking notice that that was the second time in a row he was advised to hurry. He used his map again, leaving Sector 6 and passing through Sector 7. Looking for a secluded area, he ducked into a corner, away from prying eyes, and pulled out the pouch. Unable to move his fingers around very well in the thicker gloves he had been made to wear, he took them off, undoing the knot and opening the pouch afterwards.

He shook it, and four pills spilled out onto the ground. He quickly picked them all up and eyed them, attempting to rotate the brightly colored capsules around in his open palm. He sniffed one, getting a whiff of a strange, powdery scent that made him sneeze. His nose burned, and he clenched the hand with the pills into a fist to rub his nose, irritating it more. He opened the fist, finding that bright red, blue, yellow, and orange painted his palm and that the respective colors on each capsule had dulled. He threw the pills onto the ground and crushed them with his foot, digging his boot in and kicking the power around to scatter it. He sneezed a couple more times, coughed up a storm, and ran out, rubbing his colored hand on the bottom half of his uniform, smearing the color on the fabric but hardly making it any better on his hand. Sniffing, his eyes watering, he looked for a spigot, pushing his way through random people in a frenzy to get to it. He opened it, and, not caring whether the water was tainted or not, attempted to wash his hands off, managing to remove most of the dye. He splashed water onto his leg, groaning at how the pigment refused to wear off. He made the water flow bigger and grabbed some mud, splattering and smearing it over his leg to hide the evidence.

"Shit," Cloud whispered hoarsely. "Shit, shit shit...!" He put the gloves on.

Out of options, he took a shaky breath, and tried to calm down as he restarted his trek to Sector 8.

Those were drugs. _Drugs_. He didn't know what was in them or what they were, but he was feeling very lightheaded after breathing in the dust. He scrambled for an excuse on what to say when he returned, hoping that he would be able to get away with destroying the pills.

He wasn't going to be doing this. He wasn't – wasn't going to aid those people. He was a coward for joining their ranks, but that didn't mean that he couldn't try to use a new tactic to rectify his mistake.

But he couldn't go back above the plate. He had no ID anymore, and where else was he supposed to go?

Holding his head higher, he hurried back, stopping and looking into a pile of scraps when he got to the right Sector. He dug through the metal, finally finding the trap door, and, deciding to leave the secret entrance uncovered, he climbed down the ladder and into the depths of the underground.

Ea was there. Immediately, he yanked Cloud forward by the front of his shirt and started patting him down.

"Where is it?" he asked casually.

"Where is what?" Cloud questioned softly, struggling to keep still as the other's hands ran down to more uncomfortable areas.

"You didn't know what you were supposed to pick up?"

"No..."

Ea's lips curled up into a smile. "Really? Then what did you do?"

"I—" Cloud swallowed. "I dropped off the box like you told me to."

"And he received it?"

"Yes."

"What else?"

"That's it," Cloud said quickly, pulling himself away. The other man's grip, however, did not relax for even a fraction of a second. "That's all that happened, and I came back here, just like you wanted me to."

"Is that so?"

Cloud nodded and reigned in the urge to sniff. His nose would not stop bothering him, and it started to burn. "I'm done here."

"No you're not. Not until you tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened," Cloud said quickly.

Ea released Cloud and suddenly grabbed both of the blond's wrists, twisting them and wrenching a pained gasp from him. Cloud tried to pull away, but only caused pain to shoot through his bones. He nearly paled when Ea removed both of his gloves, revealing the hand that still had remnants of the mixed dyes. He cried out when Ea tossed him onto a table, banging the back of his head and his trapped wrists against it.

"What did you do with them?" Ea questioned emotionlessly.

"I— Nothing, I swear! I – I was mugged!" Cloud blurted, at this point not knowing what to really say.

"Try again," Ea said, keeping one hand on Cloud's wrists. His other hand went into his pocket.

Cloud swallowed again. "It's the truth. I swear it."

A small pocket knife was whipped out, the blade shining dully in the light. It pressed against his throat, pricking through the skin. Ea did not ask him anything, only continued to press deeper.

"I didn't—!"

"My patience is wearing thin, kid."

"I'm not—!"

Ea smacked him in the forehead with his knife hand. "Care to tell me why your nose is permanently fucked up, then?"

"It – it's permanent?" Cloud blurted without thinking.

"Yes." His tormentor positioned the knife tip-first under one of Cloud's nostrils, the blade touching the skin. "I don't think you'll need these anymore."

Cloud's eyes widened, realizing what the other was going to do. "No, no please!" He thrashed, nearly cutting himself in the process.

"Did you take all of them? How are you still walking?"

"No, I didn't."

"Keep lying to me, kid. It's just getting better."

The knife twisted, threatening to cut Cloud even more, and the blond finally confessed.

"I sniffed them, then crushed them up and threw them away. Some of the powder went up my nose, and it made the burning worse."

The knife was removed. Cloud panted and sniffed, the sudden burn making him want to rub his nose again. However, Ea had not let go of his wrists. Cloud didn't care; as long as he was relatively safe, he was fine...

He screamed, the knife imbedded in his side twisting and opening the wound even more. He tried his hardest to move away, to break free, but the other man plunged it in as deep as it would go, considering the small size of the blade. He hissed as it was taken out, and screamed again – louder – as it was jabbed into his thigh next. Ea twisted it again, drawing out Cloud's agony, before taking it out and drawing a large gash on Cloud's other thigh.

The blond fell flat as he was thrown off the table, and when he tried to get to his feet, a foot kicked him right in the ass hard enough to make him hit his face on the table leg.

"Part of our three hundred thousand gil of rent down the drain," Ea said. He shook his head slowly. "You better learn quick that I don't tolerate this, kid. I didn't trust you with so little for no reason." Cloud gasped as he was lifted by the hair. "But I promise you, any more stunts and there will be no minor punishments. Understand?"

"Yes," Cloud whimpered, struggling to breathe. Pain shot through his elbows and knees when he was shoved down again.

"Get out of my face."

Shakily, Cloud got to his feet again, limping to the trap door which led to the floor below. He almost passed out a quarter of the way down, but he bit his lip and held on, making extremely slow movement until he was finally all the way down.

"Insubordinate little child."

Cloud froze at the sound of the voice. He teared around, dread coiling in his gut when his fear was confirmed.

Helvete, as Geles and Grohl had called her, was behind him, empty-handed.

"Attempting to play the hero won't do you any good."

He ignored her and walked past her, shuffling along to the sleeping quarters he had been assigned.

"You remember your comrades, yes?" He could tell she was following him, walking even slower to stay behind. "How do you think they were rewarded for their heroism?"

He didn't say anything. He didn't want to say anything.

"'A slum patrol ending in disaster,' the paper said. 'Casualties including R. Garrison, Third Class; P. Johnson, Second Class; and two infantrymen.'"

"You're lying." Cloud clenched his fists.

"Am I? I still have the paper. The proof is right there."

"No. It's not true."

"Unnamed infantryman," Helvete said with mock pity.

"Shut up."

"Is that how you would have liked to be recognized, little hero?"

"Shut. Up."

"Noble acts of courage..."

Cloud arrived at the open door and slammed it in Helvete's face. He heard the lock fall into place on the other side. Jiggling the lever, he found it jammed.

"The little hero, forever unrecognized and in denial." He heard footsteps echoing and gradually getting muter. He waited until he could no longer hear them before using the last of his energy to climb into his cot.

* * *

Notes:

Started: 2014年2月8日（土）

Finished: 2014年2月11日（火）

Last I updated this, I had no idea at the time how to start the next chapter. But you know what? Reviving dead fics feels great. Maybe I'll start doing it this month. This is still on hiatus, though, until I can free up some space in the updating schedule that does whatever it wants.

But... I'm in a bit of a mood. A wonderful author on this site by the name of danadess removed all of her stories last year and changed her name to quali. I had not noticed until March or April. And believe me, I was **devastated**. She meant a whole lot to me - hell, she was the one who gave me the courage to make an account on fanfiction.net in the first place! I so badly miss _Promises_ and _Rebirth and_ _Reunion_. I did not know about downloaders back in 2011, and the few people I know don't have a copy of either of those two stories. It would make my entire week if anybody had a copy of both. ;_; I miss those stories so badly, and I can remember every single moment in both, even the little ones. Gawd, I... I'd do anything to be able to read them again... Even now, I can remember even some of the things that had been written in her profile page.

I'm consumed by feels right now. I'm sorry.


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